Journal

{{journal_mood pensive}} What a fun day! I didn’t plan it that way but it turned in to one as I just said screw it, I am going to enjoy and do what I want. I woke up late, last night after I last wrote my entry, I made some changes in my view on things and it felt good. I am not going to go in to details on what those views where, let’s just say I am going to do what I think is best and if anyone doesn’t like it … screw them. Well, not as harsh as […]

{{journal_mood okay}} Note to self: NEVER EVER DO THE HOLIDAYS LIKE THIS AGAIN! What a mess. I didn’t go to my Mom’s as planned. At the last minute my so-called partner changed his plans and actually asked me to stay at home. Being the stupid bleeding heart I did. It wasn’t too hard to twist my arm since I was worried about the car and I was dead tired when he asked. As for the day, it started off ok but then it got worse. Just one more holiday with me and someone I am neither really romantic nor interested […]

{{journal_mood mellow}} Ugg … I am pathetic. I had a semi nice conversation with my one friend today, yeah the one I complain about all the time. It was in instant messages as usual, *sighs* I really am doubting that he and I will ever get a chance to spend time together besides the stupid messenger. I was so irritated with him during part of that conversation that I up and left only to find myself talking to him again shortly after that. I guess I am just going to have to do the hard thing and confront him, I […]

{{journal_mood pissed}} Freaking [insert favorite cuss word here], I am trying my best to deal with my friend. I got myself out of my funk that I was in last week and have started to move forward again. I am sorry; I am getting so very tired of my one friend who is apparently depressed or something. I don’t care that he is depressed or very sad, I would like to help and will be there. He doesn’t want my help but that still doesn’t mean I am not there. Last night, he FINALLY logs in to instant messenger. I […]

{{journal_mood blah}} Things are finally feeling a bit more normal. I am not sure what was going on last week but I am feeling myself again. My friend that lives here is acting strange and has gotten very distant. He says he is trying to lay low and repair which may be true but he seems so far away and less than responsive. He blew off our dinner Sunday, though he said he probably wouldn’t be able to do it, normally he calls but this time he didn’t. I am worried about him but he is leaving avenues to talk […]

{{journal_mood determined}} I hate caring about people so much it hurts. I hate knowing that I will stand by someone regardless of how they might feel about me. I hate the fact that I won’t do what is selfish and self deserving but will allow my heart to be tread on when I know that it will help another person. I hate having to hold a promise when it hurts so much to keep holding. Unconditional love sucks. I might die a young man and I might die from a broken heart but at least I can say I loved […]

{{journal_mood stressed}} Being sick, having terrible headaches and feeling lost really don’t make for good days. I slept most of the day away and pretty much going to go back that direction in a few. Figured I’d done so good updating this thing I should put in something for today. Had a great long conversation with my Utah friend, I needed that and he is a good listener as I whined about things. I did take a drive, I really needed to get out of the house and figured since I was feeling a tad bit better both mentally and […]

{{journal_mood stressed}} Being sick, having terrible headaches and feeling lost really don’t make for good days. I slept most of the day away and pretty much going to go back that direction in a few. Figured I’d done so good updating this thing I should put in something for today. Had a great long conversation with my Utah friend, I needed that and he is a good listener as I whined about things. I did take a drive, I really needed to get out of the house and figured since I was feeling a tad bit better both mentally and […]

{{journal_mood thoughtful}} This is something I wrote as I sat here thinking. It’s actually something I think about all the time, just never thought I would put it where someone could see. My answer is of course the end. Having an ability such as this would be exciting but with any hidden and unknown talent, you have to weigh the reasons (and moral obligation) you have it. [blockquote]Time and Space If I could travel through time and I could travel through space, what would I see and what would I do? Would I turn back the clock and fix my […]

{{journal_mood moody}} I think it’s time to see a doctor. Not exactly for the problems I am facing but for the headaches that I have been having. They are pretty much constant now and though I can dull them, I can’t seem to get rid of them. I joke with people that I might have a tumor which I know I don’t, I think it’s my nasal passages finally telling me to do something. They are mostly sinus headaches and well that could be part of the problem with me not being able to focus. It does seem that when […]