Another Day, Another Dollar.

{{journal_mood disappointed}} I feel so sick right now. I don’t know if I want to throw up or go cry. A huge part of me is hurting and angry. I know what I wrote last night and even after sleeping on it, all I am is angrier and more hurt. I don’t want to do this crap with anyone, I hate head-games with a passion and though I love my friends, I can’t just stand here and do nothing. Frankly I never stand by and do nothing; I am very pro-active and get involved either in listening or trying to […]

Friendships Aren’t What They Us To Be!

{{journal_mood Angry}} I started off the day with my plan. Part one is to give my one friend some space so he can do his thing and for me so I can do mine. I really like him, he and I have so much fun together but when I can’t open up and just be myself, have fun and then be moody and just need to chatter…. He doesn’t want that right now and I can understand why. He has some heavy issues going on and honestly I don’t blame him for not wanting to hear mine. Hardest thing I […]

Time Spent…

{{journal_mood excited}} Last night started off as one of those nights I have been having. Going home, feeling down and lonely. I went to talk to one of my friends over instant messenger but well…I think it’s time for me to face it. This one friend just isn’t into listening to emotions or even noticing. Kind of like the person I am suppose to be sharing my life with it. It’s not his fault, he’s going through some very rough stuff in life and probably isn’t even seeing little things around him aka, a friend making very subtle hints that […]

Liberating…

{{journal_mood Apathetic}} Ok, I am slightly addicted to this writing thing and just thought of something as I continue to work on things and then let my mind drift. First off, I hate being a Gemini. BUT, at the moment my mind has shifted from sad to happy so I’ll take it no matter if it’s only for a few minutes. Actually it was my one friend in Utah that helped. As I thought back through our conversation I realized that even though no one is around to really be close to and have their presence I do have people […]

Chatting…

{{journal_mood sad}}{{journal_location The happy sound of people working….}} Well, I went and pestered my one friend while he worked on his website. I don’t know. I call him a best friend because I trust him and know down deep he does care but he has stuff going on and well, doesn’t need some gay guy hovering over him. I know he doesn’t mind but I feel bad which of course just leads to me finding problems with our friendship that don’t exist. Ugg… He’s a great person and someone I do look up too. Last thing I want is to […]

Umm…yeah…

{{journal_mood lonely}} Hmm… What to say? Honestly I could write volumes and really want too but then the idea of the whole world reading those thoughts in such an anonymous way is a bit scary. Ahh… But then why did I sign up for this thing. Perhaps, it’s just the desire to stop hiding in the shadows and thinking no one wants to hear my half-hazard comments and well…. Let’s just be blunt here, desperate desire to know that someone is out there that actually cares. Ok, so a journal. What shall I say? I guess to start with, I […]

Time Away From Work….

{{journal_mood contemplative}} Ahhh…. A day off! It’s been a busy week for me at work, lots of meetings and planning. Nothing I don’t enjoy or thrive on but something I haven’t been us to from many years back. So like most my days off I like to pretty much do nothing, watch TV, surf the web and just ‘putz’. I’ve done the usual today … off and on work, answering emails from the office and doing a bit of research. Then channel surfing for a show of interest and getting quickly bored with it once I find something, moving on […]

It’s NOT a blog!

{{journal_mood happy}} Who in the hell made up that term? I mean, what where they hiding! What is a blog? To be honest, with all my years of web design and surfing, I have never seen a more stupid term applied to something that has been around for centuries. A blog is nothing more than a space to write your thoughts (and opinions) for others to read. Remind you of something? Perhaps an editorial column … a journal … a diary … someone’s place to bitch. (side note: that last partial sentence should probably be said with increasing anger for […]