Angry vs Walking Away

There is a saying, ‘pick your battles’. I … kind of … think this is a good saying. Isn’t there another saying that might go along the lines of, ‘plan your battles and chose when to engage’? That I think follows more along with how I go about things. These question started floating around my head a few days ago. It was brought on when I was interacting with a coworker who is one of those always happy people, nothing phases them, they’re always upbeat, and they always just take everything in stride.

I, generally, enjoy people like that. But at the same time, their carefree attitude, seems so … wimpy. Maybe they follow the thought process of ‘picking your battles’ because, when I engage them in a conversation about political or social issues, they do have a strong opinion. That’s great. So maybe, not so wimpy?

And that’s where it gets weird in my head.

This person, they tend to have a strong opinion on this specific topic, still being upbeat and chipper about it. We delve deeper into the topic, they explain their well thought out fix, including some good research and then tick it off as a done conversation. Problem solved. Now they can move on with life. Back to full happy mode. Next topic.

It isn’t usually that simple. Rarely is it that simple. Take for instance, the idiot who was the US President in 2017. How did we get there? How can we not let that happen again? Why did it happen? Well, as most will tell you; he got himself voted into office (we aren’t going to debate if it was legal or not, that isn’t part of this conversation). Many, more than when he was elected, see what happened as a mistake, and ask the question, “how to not let it happen again?” A lot of people way say, ‘we need to always remember to vote.’

Problem solved, we’ve figured out what went wrong and we have a plan for the future.

It really is not that simple. Yes, we all need to vote, but why did it really happen? Are there really that many people in the US that would think this person was capable of running this country? And if that really is the case, then voting isn’t the issue. The real issue is, how some people in this country view this political office or how this country should be run and even, presented to the rest of the world.

So, in essence, it isn’t such a simple answer as “everyone needs to vote”. It requires a bit more thought. And personally, I think the real deep dive to an answer is that; we need to educate our citizen a whole heck of a lot better, especially in the middle of America. Now we are left with new questions. How do we do that? Where do we start? That’s a whole ‘nother can of worms.

Okay, okay … I’m getting off topic here. There are two trains of thought charging down the tracks in my head.

Once you have an answer that makes sense … to you … even if it just makes you feel better, shouldn’t you make sure there isn’t a deeper issue? It sure seems like people find an answer, it clears up their concerns, so they are happy to move on. In fact, I’ve found that some people get upset if you even try to go deeper, that or they just shrug and push off the concept of a larger issue as, ‘not their problem’. In other words, they have an answer, they are done.

The other point of this conversation, which I admit probably isn’t very clear at all, when do you stop fighting a battle and let things go? Sometimes I feel so frustrated over some topic that I will work through it and process it, only to end up making myself more upset and frustrated. At what point do you say enough and toss the argument out the window? And yes, my mind and years of life lessons, is telling me that if I don’t figure it out, deal with it, or confront it, it will just keep being a problem.

Going back to my coworker that I was using as an example at the beginning of this rant. How are some people, who can be so passionate about a topic, able to just find an answer and then, check the topic off as done? Even if you have an answer, shouldn’t you act on it? Is it really the real answer, could there be more to it? And even if you have an answer, that is only part of solving the problem. Making the answer come to light is what is going to solve things, right? Or is an answer, just good enough?

I’ve gotten older. I don’t have the energy I use to have. Fighting some of these battles because they are the right thing to do, in all honesty, it is just taking to much out of me. Yet, I can’t just ignore a problem and pretend it isn’t a problem. Nor can I just blindly go with the concept that I have an answer and the problem is now solved. All that’s going to do is bottle things up and then I’ll most likely explode (at someone). And finally, even if I have the answer, without acting on it, how am I ever going to know if it was the right answer or if I missed something; maybe I should have gone deeper before settling on my final answer?

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