Survival….

{{journal_mood content}}

{{journal_location My new office and it’s all clean for a change!}}

I survived … I did it … I came through only battered and bruised, slightly aged and perhaps with a few new gray hairs. Speaking of which, I am finally showing signs of going bald. That took sometime, my dad went bald when he was a teenager and my younger brother got hit with it when he was in his late twenties. So as I reach forty, it’s finally decided to hit me. The only part that bothers me is that it’s a slow process and either I need to shave it all off pronto (get it over with) or do I try to let it be until it’s really bad. Decisions … decisions.

As for my survival, I made it through Turkey day. X-mas is next and that one we’ll just see how it goes.

On other fronts my cat, the lone one left, has finally gone pretty much blind. It was really rough when I finally realized what had happened. I was having a very hard time dealing with it. It seemed like it was an overnight thing but as I calmed down and thought about it, it wasn’t until I rearranged my office at home that I noticed. And that is usually what it takes for a cat to show. He has always been a bit slower and more cautious, one thing that has bother me for weeks now has been him always under foot and not getting out of the way like he us to. I had thought it was because Dazzle had left and he was lonely but as I continued analyzing his new habits I realized, he didn’t see me and was just trying to be close. He was going blind for sometime, he knew where everything else was that he had to maneuver around but a moving person he couldn’t counter.

He’s doing well though, I think it has been a slow progression that he had been adapting too. When I rearranged it threw him for a loop but he’s getting his groove back and even managed to jump up on the bed which is a good two foot jump without sight. I love him very much and worry but he’s probably about 10, maybe older and age is just slowing him down a bit.

With Dazzle gone, life has been interesting. He and I didn’t really talk nor see each much the past year but his presence was always here. It’s been a bit odd adjusting to him not being around and our brief discussions or moments of worry and concern but it’s also been good too in that I know he’s moving on with his life. Last I heard, he was opening a shop in his home country and doing the Internet cafe thing. I’m happy for him.

On other fronts, money finally caught up to me as I tried to deal with all the new household bills. Thankfully Boy Wonder is here and he was a trooper for helping me, stepping right up as I timidly admitted my situation which he wasn’t aware of and I had a very difficult time admitting. I’m incredibly grateful for his support and glad he was here. I have plans to fix it all now that I know what I am up against and hopefully by the end of this month, life will finally return to normal at least from a money perspective.

Otherwise I am doing ok. I’ve been suffering from a cold this whole week and though my body did a great job fighting it off it’s left me far more tired them I am us to. Well, I just kept going even when I knew I should stop and perhaps take a nap but aye, I can nap when I am dead. Which is what I should be doing now but I need to update my journal and then I am sure there is something I should be surfing for on the Internet.

So things are fine, a bit screwy as I adjust and try to understand what is going on with the shifting world I feel like I am in. I kind of got in to it with Boy Wonder today over life stuff. I was feeling down and instead of talking about it, let it eat away at me which in turn got on Boy Wonder’s nerves. But after he and I exchanged a few stern words and did the silent treatment for a while, we talked a bit and both of us moved on.

And finally, my internal energy levels are slowly returning to normal. They have been a bit odd lately. I have been avoiding many of the things I need to focus on and with a re-arrange of my office at home, it was my way to create a change for myself and perhaps start a sub-chapter in my life. I did update my entire website the last two weeks and still have some more work to do, I am excited to continue working on it more and that is a very nice feeling. I feel like parts of me that have been kind of dead are re-awaking which is just a nice feeling.

So, as Boy Wonder likes to write, that’s all from the peanut gallery. Until next time….