Pondering Thoughts

{{journal_mood amused}}

{{journal_location Home damn it…now leave me be!}}

I find that I ponder things lots more than I us to. Perhaps that is me getting old or perhaps it’s the constant desire to always improve and grow. Life is not as easy as it once was, just a few years ago I could easily pickup and move without a care in the world, now I have so many responsibilities. I us to just jump in the car and drive, though I still do, I find that now days I have to think twice about who might need something or what else I need to do. The days of being carefree are slowly vanishing. Ahhh…. The wonders of getting older, I can’t say that I don’t miss those days but I find that knowing my way through life is far more interesting even if it means lots of work and everyone’s favorite … the daily routine.

Today was boring and bland. Work followed by more work. Nothing to exciting either, tracking down bugs and then getting so bored with reading code that I found myself day dreaming. It wasn’t a bad day per say just one that didn’t seem to hold a purpose but then there are days like that. I think that is what everyone refers to as "the daily routine". I did spend a tiny bit of time doing my latest favorite thing, pondering what lays ahead. I can’t say I came to any big revolutions but I will say that I am not to excited about that road ahead. For me, I ended up asking myself ‘what do I want to do right this minute?’ Actually, the answer was easy, go for a hike, go wander around a park, take a drive to the coast, heck I’d even go fishing … anything to just get away from the routine and what feels like boredom of ‘the routine’.

But then what is holding me back, and here we find, full circle. I have responsibilities and things that need to be taken care of. Right now I don’t have the time to wander off and do nothing no matter how much I really want too. Actually, if things continue as they are, they may be dull but they will improve as the track ahead is paved. It’s just waiting to be driven down. The question is, do I take it or venture off on some damn side road of dirt. Normally, the side road sounds like fun but this time, maybe the track ahead. BUT, then again, my mood could change in a few minutes and ….

Far to much chaos in my little mind. How in the world do people entertain themselves, this is like a little circus all to myself.