{{journal_mood exhausted}}
I’m feeling really hurt and let down right now. What’s more upsetting, it’s over something really stupid. But it’s not really that stupid because it is the underlying problem and the reason for most of the pain and sorrow that I seem to be constantly facing.
As much as I do understand people and the events around me, it always amazes me to see others ignoring the simplest of things that have such huge impacts on one’s life. Perhaps we do get set in our ways as we get older and I am just one of the lucky ones who had the chance to find ways around habits so they can be broken. Right now, the only habit I haven’t broken is smoking and the reason I haven’t broken it is … as I tell everyone … it’s not going to happen until I want it to happen. The only person it’s killing is me and it gives me a simple excuse to take a break.
I had a miserable time last night, what would have been fun turned in to a living nightmare of pain and hurt which then follows in to the next day. So here I sit wanting to cry and be upset but so freaking pissed off and mad that all I really want to do is run away. What’s worse is it is all over something so trivial and stupid yet in my eyes it was a huge let down, major disappointment and just kind of makes me wonder … "why bother anymore."