Monday Morning

{{journal_mood horny}}

The question from last night was how I would do today with the latest drama/trauma in my life. Well, it’s 10am and I was fine for the most part until I got to my desk. Boy Wonder manage to take center stage in my thoughts as usual, my fears and doubts are right with him.

I don’t know, I told Hermes yesterday I don’t want to loose him in my life, he is here for a reason and is important to me but I can’t be going through this hour after hour after hour. I have other things to do in my life; perhaps I need better wall building skills so I can just block him out. I felt so good this morning and last night after talking with Hermes and now I feel directly the opposite.

Oh where, oh where is happy me and if Boy Wonder is worth this effort, could I please get a freaking sign or something cause right now I really can’t handle this much longer.

Ok, let’s try something else…. Let’s go back to Mr. Installer at Car-Toys the other day. He had that shaved head thing with a cute shorthaired goatee. Kind of a blonde or dirty blonde, around 6’2, more or less an average build (which I find sexy); he had a soft smile and one of those not deep but low voices. And of course he wasn’t some techy or suit but more of the hands on type of guy which I really enjoy. I could see myself with someone like that and looking forward to seeing them each night.

Now, what’s interesting, thinking about Mr. Installer blew away Boy Wonder and the trauma there, mood has shifted from down to excited. I need a boyfriend! I need someone to cuddle with and romance, someone to think about. I’m sorry but Dazzle and I are over, he’s a friend and always will be but our relationship hasn’t existed for years. I want someone like Mr. Installer to cuddle up to and see each night. And not to mention the hot monkey sex we could have….. I need a smoke break.