Men Alert!

{{journal_mood naughty}}

Last night turned out really good. I didn’t get to bed any earlier than normal but I was able to go without the mountain of stress that seems to be looming over me. As for the person who didn’t call me back, towards the later part of my day, I did finally come to terms with the small hill I was making out of it. (And yet even later found out something had come up making it difficult for them to call me back.) Stuff like that needs to go away; my poor thoughts are just too crowded to have things like that troubling me.

Right now I am sitting at the dealer/repair shop having them put the final fix on my car. This time I am just going to wait around for a couple hours while they finish up the work. It gives me an excuse to not be at the office and time to just be in a different and unknown place for a while. I actually don’t mind waiting around like this, it goes by pretty fast as I enjoy watching people. Plus you just never know when a cute mechanic will walk by and I can ogle him with my eyes. Such as the one that just entered! Ooo…LaLa!

Plus sitting across from me is a cute guy, perhaps a bit older than me, around his 40ish somewhere (actually I found out he is more like 50). Not gorgeous but not bad, let’s just say if he asked I’d have to make sure the knee pads are handy.

On other fronts, Sex Hound called last night. It was a welcome call as I was in the middle of stressing over some stupid stuff. We chatted for a while, it was a fun call and as always helpful for me to chat about the junk hovering around me. I have to admit that I really am tired of talking about all this stuff both here and with my friends. I miss talking about other things, laughing at stupid jokes and comments, and hearing about stuff in everyone else’s life instead of my rehashed woes. But I also know that if I just bottle all this up it will eat me alive so everyone just hang in there whilst my mind continues to fight this odd battle … I just wish I knew who (or what) to cheer for.

Boy Wonder and I also had a chance to talk later that evening. Though he had received some very upsetting news yesterday evening, weighing heavy on his mind, he and I did have a bit of fun chatting not only about that but other stuff, about work and just having fun. I feel bad for all that he is going through and really wish I could do more to help but being there and being his friend is probably what he needs more. I’m more than happy to do that and I think he might finally be letting down a few walls around me; it was a first that he admitted being upset and even wanted to chat outside messenger even though he was upset. It felt nice to be his friend, to be there for him and to have him talk and feel relaxed around me.

Dazzle eventually came home some time later. Of course it was business as usual, no mention of our conversation or that we had talked at all. He brought some food from somewhere and offered it to me but I wasn’t hungry. It was the typical response I am us to and have learned to just ignore. We get in to an argument and every so often it might get resolved but most times he just stops talking or listening, then it’s as if that conversation never existed. Honestly at this point in my life, I really don’t care. I am kind of glad he didn’t bring up our messenger chat from earlier; I just don’t care to hear it.

That’s pretty bad actually but sadly that’s how our life has been for so many years now. No wonder I have so many issues to deal with. For so very long I have been just pushing things out when I normally would have been dealing with it. All this is what has finally caught up to me and is now taking its toll on my poor mind. Ahh well, eventually it will all get better and life will return back to normal.

Oh and you should see the guy sitting across from me know. He looks to be in his late 20’s (maybe thirty); must be a driver for some place patiently waiting for his truck to be fixed. He’s kind of tall and skinny with dark blonde hair. He has one of those baby boy faces and dressed in that sexy blue collar outfit with nice fitting jeans and Doc Martin work boots. Ok, him I would be more than happy to even forgo the knee pad search … oh heck if he asked, I wouldn’t have time to look … never keep a cute guy waiting.

Otherwise, so far today (an hour in to it) I am in a great mood, not feeling as tired as normal and confident about some of the things in my life. Not to worry, I can feel stuff looming around but unlike yesterday, it’s controlled and not stomping around in my head. I am going to sit here and lounge. I brought the game Boy Wonder wanted me to play and figured I’d install it on the laptop but most likely I think I am just going to use it as an excuse to stare at the cute guys around. It’s a nifty tool to be able to look over the top or around the edges without people noticing my wandering eyes.

One other note, I’ve been sitting here a while now. And in this hour of waiting, more and more of the people who work here have came up and said hi to me. This is my second time to be here (though I have been here a couple other times but only briefly), I do chat with people every so often but don’t go out of my way, I just must leave a memorable impression with them. It’s a neat feeling to have so many remember me from weeks back and feel the urge to say hi. It’s even more fun to see them light up when they see me. I am not gloating here, it is just one of those fun things about life that makes me feel good to be who I am … especially right now.

UPDATE & CUTE GUY ALERT: Ok, while I was installing the game on the laptop and trying my hardest not to watch the incredibly stupid talk show with some women I’ve never heard of … which just happened to be about weddings and newlyweds *gets the desire to throw something at the TV* … this kind of sexy guy came up and hovered over my shoulder asking about the game on my screen. At first I didn’t think about it but he kept talking.

He was telling me about how he likes to play the console type games and more single player ones such as Diablo, it was actually fun because he was flirting with me. His friend even had that look, you know the one you get when your friends start flirting with someone and you know you’re stuck there for a while … yeah that’s the look. Let me tell you, not a hunk but very attractive in that construction worker, middle American way. He looked like he was out on some construction site, his clothing a bit dirty and his boots covered in dust. He had dark black hair with a hint of grey and though not in excellent shape, he was typical which I think is far more appealing. Oh and then he had this goatee which really does turn me on and made his face look …. Oh Nelly, he was cute.

He finally got called to go look at his car but did turn as he was walking away and said he’d be back. *dreamy sigh* Alas, he never did before my car was finished, so cute construction worker was lost in to the world. I have to admit that was an incredible high though. It’s rare for me to see someone flirt so openly directly with me. Trust me, had he stayed a bit longer I would have pushed the envelope but he was pulled away just too quickly for me to get the chance.

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