Latter Days

{{journal_mood hopeful}}

It’s funny how watching something like a movie can bring about memories that are well over 10 years gone. If you haven’t seen the movie "Latter Days", I highly recommend it. An incredible gay flick with some well know actors and actually something of a budget. It was refreshing in that aspect but it brought up memories of a Lost Love. I’ve written about him before and even have some stuff dedicated to him so if you’ve kept up, you’ll remember him.

After all these years I can still feel his touch, see his smile, remember his voice and the deep yearn to touch him … each echo through me as if I was going to see him later tonight. All the memories that I hold are crystal clear, almost as if they happened yesterday. Even the memory I hold the closest to my heart, the moment we first met face to face. We’d talked for months but never met, I went all the way to his town simply to meet him. I made no other arrangements to stay anywhere or do anything but meet this one person. When he opened the door and greeted me, it was like they said, fire works. His smile, his face … how I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the evening with him. Any worries or doubts I had vanished … there stood my Prince Charming.

Perhaps it’s the fairy tail ending I am hoping for or perhaps it was simply true love. I may never know, yet I sit here with Google trying the 50 different ways I can think of searching for his name. Each time, hundreds of searches and web pages viewed, I keep hoping I’ll run into him. When I go out, I always take a second look at those who resemble him, hoping … just once … that it would be him.

What would I say, what would I do. I don’t know but some days, like today, he would warm a heart that seems to cry out for the love he once showed me. I’ll always have my memories but I am so very sorry I let him go, 15 years have gone by and I see him still.