{{journal_mood calm}}

{{journal_location Home with Anima in the background!}}

I haven’t written as much as I thought I would. Honestly I want to write but a part of me is afraid to put my thoughts on paper. Perhaps I write to much about the bad stuff and as I jot down notes and comments, I work myself up … instead of the original purpose of this journal which was to calm me down.

Currently things are stressful but when aren’t they? It’s actually more confusion than anything, it just seems that things should be spiraling out of control but they are actually moving along nicely. Work is awful, lots of junk going on there. In-fighting and back stabbing seem to be popular, I am watching many good people get hurt and that is sad. Life outside work is ‘ok’ … if … I keep a level head and don’t loose it. The little game world I play in is nothing but drama lately.

It seems that many aren’t very happy with my approach, which is simply to face the problems head on and remove them. As they all put it, that’s a lot of drama. But for me it’s wasted effort to just ignore a problem until it goes away, it just seeds the ground for more problems. As I told Boy Wonder, I feel as if I am not wanted there and everyone has basically decided to pull away from me. It’s actually kind of hurting Boy Wonder since most are his friends and he’s being put in the middle … again. This time I think he see’s what is going on and unlike what happened in another game, he has decided it’s not going to happen here.

On other fronts, my new mufflers should be arriving tomorrow. My poor vette had a bad moment when I was racing home at lunch and they finally gave in. One muffler was having problems but the other muffler tried to fall off. Both are pretty much shot but that ended my driving in my dream car for the time being. However, I am so very excited that tomorrow they will be here and what’s even more fun … Boy Wonder and I are going to put them on the car. It’s stupid I know but I am so excited about this little moment cause it’s just one of those fun moments in life where you have a friend to help.

There is lots more junk to report but right now I have decided it will come as it comes and I’m going to try and relax a bit. Oh … speaking of relaxing, freaking drop dead gorgeous painter at work. I think I was bugging him with how much I was staring but dang, he didn’t have to wear those cute little shorts and all, who wouldn’t stare. Oh yeah another thing … I decided to go back to an old thing I us to do today, I’ve actually been thinking about it for some time but finally got my butt in gear and did it tonight.

It might sound like a simple thing but to me it has great value. I got out my old Day-Timer, printed up a new calendar and phone book and put it back in to use. It’s weird, I have had a Day-Timer off and on since I was 18. I was glancing back through them a month ago and found myself with this odd little journal. So many people and things happening in my life, I had no idea I had jotted down so many things. It was like reliving my life and it was just so relaxing to be flipping a piece of paper instead of tapping on a little screen. I’m kind of excited to have it again, it’s kind of like a comfort blanket and kind of like coming home. I found myself planning again and preparing for my future as I looked towards the year ahead. That’s not something I have done in a very long time.

Odd how a little thing like that can bring such feelings forward. Anyway, that’s life at the moment. Not great, not awful but turning and going.