December 16, 2023 -
Honestly, I was so excited to get into the rhythm of updating my site. A new post a week, all that was becoming a thing. I have about two dozen, if not a bit more, posts I’ve started and just need to finish. I just love the concept of writing and updating the site. It really lets me get the creativity out of my system. But, things changed. In September of 2022 I’d gotten word that my mom’s current living situation wasn’t sustainable and she was at risk of “things” getting worse. Sadly, I was informed, that my family had all but given up on her. My mom … she doesn’t necessarily tell me, or any of her kids … everything that’s really going on, finally admitted that she needed to move and the only option was with me, she had no place else to go. That’s okay. I’ve been preparing for this for years. So, we emptied a bedroom, created her a space, painted and more, then went to get my mom. Her caregiver, and some friends, had help pack up a camping trailer my mom bought off my niece for dirt cheap and packed it with all her things. We just had to get a truck to tow it back to Washington. She lives in Oregon so it wasn’t a huge trip and a nice little break for us. Upon our arrival, that all changed. My mom hadn’t fully told us how bad her health had gotten. Others had hinted at it, but my mom is pretty much a person who doesn’t like not being in control, so she is protective of what others can say about her. She hadn’t walked since the pandemic, my mom had told me that she had trouble walking. It turns out no one was helping her get up and try to exercise for … two years. On top of that, where she was living was so run down and dilapidated, you needed a mask, or anything to cover your face just to enter and breath in the collapsing space they had put my mom. My family … had … abandon her. My mom’s care giver, a tiny lady who was almost to retirement herself, was doing everything she could to just keep my mom alive. They had indeed packed up a camping trailer, which now housed everything my mom owned, in the back yard. The tires where flat, cracked, and absolutely unusable. It had no lights, except the one hanging from an old wire. There was no license plate, much less registration. It was trashed and not even movable, it had sunk into the dirt. We only had a day to get help my mom. I had to decide what to do and that meant we had to leave almost 90% of my mom’s 90 plus years of items behind. We rented a U-Haul trailer and packed up her immediate needs, what clothing we could find, and a few things I remember as a kid. With the help of her caregiver, who came with us for the trip, managed to lift and get her into this huge truck for the six hour drive home. Oh, and I forgot, her cat, which we didn’t know about. And later found out this poor cat was so flee infested that it took six months to get rid of them in my house. Excuse the long sigh as I try to calm myself…. I thought I could write this. It’s been over a year since she’s lived here, but in all honesty, I can’t. It breaks my heart knowing how my family left her and how I had to make the hardest decision of my life to save her yet abandon everything she had to get her somewhere safe. Last I heard was that my family had everything removed and tossed in the dump – no one saved anything. I think I need to go cry now. –Carl
