February Almost….

{{journal_mood confused}}

{{journal_location At Work … WAITING …}}

For the past several weeks, almost a month I have been feeling very burnt out. I’m not sure why, everything has been fine. Hell, even the holidays passed with relative ease yet I just have felt so drained and unmotivated.

Yet, all of a sudden, my energy returned in a bolt and I am feeling myself. How long will this last? I’m not sure but I wanted to take advantage of it and hence, a journal entry. First, I think the burnt out feeling is just the overwhelming amount of change at work. There are far more projects and events happening than our small group can handle. The other, is just lots of smaller events happening around the house.

My new little kitties will be going in next week for their "operations" to get things snipped. For some reason, this is really bugging me. I think it’s because I worry about them being ok. The chances of something going wrong are slim but it still bugs me something terrible. I’ve really grown to adore them and they are very important to me. After my other two passed on, having something happen to these two would be terrible. Perhaps after next week, once this is all taken care of, some of the pressure will be gone.

On other fronts, I think I am feeling the urge to just do something and enjoy my own life. Outside work, outside my "projects" … just something I can sit and enjoy doing for myself. That is important after all and I am probably one of the worst at actually taking care of myself compared to others.

As to other things in life, there isn’t much to report. Life has been moving along as it normally does with no big changes. Boy Wonder returned to work which I think he’s enjoying, though I admit, it can be hard to tell some days. The big "project" I speak of often seems to be going but has slowed down primarily because we need to find more people. A task that I am just not sure how to go about doing … yet! Dazzle reports that his sister will be visiting next month from his home country, I am happy for him but dread having to worry about someone else around the house if even only for a week.

And that probably is in relation to the burn out. I am ready to move on with my life, ready to stop putzing around with this so called job I have, ready to get out of this house and finally let some bridges get crossed that should have been crossed many years ago. I really want to move away from the Northwest. It’s time … the moment is now and as I tell others, seizing that moment and taking the risk is what life is about. Hell, I’ve only talked about it for a year or so now. Oh, and there is one other thing. I tried to quit smoking. I didn’t do it but in my attempts some how managed to cut back dramatically and find that each day, I cut back a little more. It’s all been very subconscious like but very cool, none the less.

So, that is the update from here. Hopefully I’ll write more later….