It’s so hard to believe you are no longer here anymore. I now understand, more than anything, why it’s so important to tell those you love how much you care. Your death was a shock to me. When I found out, you had already gone. I knew you weren’t in the best of health but I always kept thinking how much I needed to talk to you. I miss you so much but you have left me with so many memories and a life time of lessons that only a father can provide. I might not have been your ideal kid, I am so different than you. Times change and things happen, I think of all the moments you wanted me to participate in and how I would find a reason to back out. I just never thought it would be that important, now I know I was wrong.
Today, I think of you fondly. I always make time to remember you and keep you alive inside me. I never told anyone why I decided to start using my given name instead of my family nickname. I think everyone assumed it was because I had grown up and wanted to break out of the childhood role. Part of me that might be true but the real reason was because you and I shared the same name. I decided to use it in honor of you. Maybe I should have told you and I wish I did. You made me very proud to have had you as my father and where ever you may be right now, I hope you know how much I love you!