Chapters in life…

{{journal_mood gloomy}} In about 45 minutes or so a new chapter starts in my life. If you don’t know what I am talking about then you haven’t been paying attention. That’s not a slam at anyone, that’s just how it goes. Change is good and this one I am both looking forward to and scared. Many things have been moving towards this point and a lot of hard work to make things happen as they have. This is one of those time where we get to see if the grass is greener on the other side … or … I […]

Stepping forward or back?

{{journal_mood complacent}} I added forums to my main website the other day. They are there as a dedication to life, good and bad. But I also created them because I missed my old BBS from a decade and a half ago. Part of me wonders if that was a good idea. I’m a very big on making sure myself and those I care about always move forward in life. Remembering the past is one thing but trying to recapture the past can be a bad thing if your reasons aren’t what they seem. For me the idea of forums for […]

The time of year…

{{journal_mood lonely}} I had a great idea last week. I wanted to create something a bit different, something I think is needed in the world. I have been writing in this journal for some time, maybe a year, maybe more. In all these entries it has been a discovery of myself, a time to reflect and a place to release. The topics have covered everything from work to the daily grind. I’ve discussed problems and worries with friends. I’ve spouted out poetry and shared some of my oldest memories. This journal has been about life. Living life is the greatest […]

Kettle Black?

{{journal_mood sad}} At the moment, I am really disappointed in people. Hell, might as well make it everyone … humans. My life has always been about trying to be better, trying to understand and trying to learn from my mistakes. I guess I am unique. One A.M. on a workday is not a good time to be stuck awake disappointed about the people you care about.

Future = ???

{{journal_mood indifferent}} {{journal_location Listening to – Steve Reid – Mysteries (Bay Smooth Jazz Radio 105.9)}} Who says the future is unwritten? Yeah I know, lots of reputable people. Perhaps it is an unknown and perhaps there is a plan for each of us. I would wager a bet that both are true … to some extent. In my view, our future is an unknown that has some guarantees on it’s destination. You see, from how I view it, we each have rolls to play in life. We live to expand ourselves, to fill voids both in ourselves and in each […]

The Review … As Seen By Me …

{{journal_mood blah}} I don’t know if I will ever get back into writing more often. I want to, that’s not the problem but I tend to get side tracked and then it gets to late and well … I then put it off until another day. Oh well, at least I am writing off and on instead of having a month on end hiatus. So, what’s new? Nothing to exciting. Life goes forward and though at the moment, I have to admit I am a bit irritated at the financial situation I seem to have gotten myself into. I honestly […]

Day-Timers….

{{journal_mood calm}} {{journal_location Home with Anima in the background!}} I haven’t written as much as I thought I would. Honestly I want to write but a part of me is afraid to put my thoughts on paper. Perhaps I write to much about the bad stuff and as I jot down notes and comments, I work myself up … instead of the original purpose of this journal which was to calm me down. Currently things are stressful but when aren’t they? It’s actually more confusion than anything, it just seems that things should be spiraling out of control but they […]

Weekend Quick Update

{{journal_mood happy}} {{journal_location Home in the office which is my life.}} It’s been a long and somewhat awful week. Actually, it’s just been an awful week full of lots of stress and pain. But the week is over and another will start in a couple days. I’m actually looking forward to this week, Boy Wonder starts work with me again and I’m starting to discover some things about myself. I think one of the key things I am discovering is that I do have strength and though at times it feels as if I am done and ready to be […]

Weekends CONTINUE to suck!

{{journal_mood depressed}} These are the days where I hate myself the most. Over the weekend I had to speak the truth and not hold back to someone I care a great deal about. I kept myself strong and only once came close to loosing it and almost started crying. It really doesn’t matter if I am right or wrong what matters is if someone hears what is being said and then they can make the decisions on what they feel that matters to them. It hurts more than anything on this planet to have to do that with someone you […]

A Good Day!

{{journal_mood content}} Last night was a blast! I got home from my exhausted day and stomach aching trauma and Boy Wonder wanted to go out as planned. I might have been tired and my stomach was killing me but I so much wanted to go out and play for a change. It was so much fun, we didn’t do much but we went to the local big computer store and putzed around. Had something to eat and then went grocery shopping. I know it sounds lame but that was so much fun to just hang out for a bit. Towards […]